[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

With This RingWith this ring,

I swear to keep myself pure.

To not give myself away until the night of my marriage,

To the one whom God has chosen for me.

With this ring,

I swear to avoid the temptations

That may lead me astray

And defile me.

With this ring

I swear to not only keep my body pure,

But to keep pure my mind.

To not think perverted thoughts,

To not corrupt myself from within.

With this ring,

I swear that all of what I am will be pure

For he who is to be my husband.

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You Have to Feel, to Heal All WoundsI’m standing still in an empty room
There are no sounds
Just voices in my head
They scream out crying out for help
Just waiting for an angel to come save me from this hell; to save me from myself

Life is hard sometimes
And I don’t know why I run
Or why I just haven’t given up the fight
Can’t you see my eyes?
Can’t you tell me why I cry because I don’t?
There is a reason because that’s how I deal with sadness

I’m detached from the world around me
Lost from a place so far from yours
I just want someone to understand me
For someone to really hear every word I say
But, sometimes no matter how much

The Person I've BecomeYou just sat on the bench
I wonder what you were thinking
Your face didn’t show much emotion
I was crying wanting to let the world in
When the world shut me out

I know it was my fault I gave up long ago
But, than you came into my life
You changed me
I’ve never been the same since

Looking back on those days I wonder what you thought of me
Was I weak girl?
Or did grow to become brave?
Did I ever become strong?

I don’t know if I will ever be defined as strong
Because when I look back on my past
I want to cry from my pain
From those regrets; when I should’ve fought

Even now I’m afraid to fight
But, fear doesn&rsq

My PersonalityCan you see my face as the sadness reflects on it?
Did you see as I cried and gained strength?

You don’t know of my past
I had to push through my fears to make it
I wanted to cry because all I wanted was to be wanted
But, no-one to knew what it was like

To be sitting in a group of people
To feel like you are the only one their
To have people take pity on you because you’re alone
Just like you always have been

Being accepted meant everything
But, no-one would accept me for who I was
Because I wore my hair and dressed a certain way

While you laughed in my face
And teased who I was
I just turned my back and pretended it didn&rsq

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Submitted: October 12, 2012
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Sometimes... It Just Hurts

by ~XxPinkSparklesxX, Oct 12, 2012, 7:56:57 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I'm stuck in rut in my life. I can't hear the sounds around me, the happiness seizes. I wish I could do everything right but, I always fall as I catch my breath.

It all hurts; I'm never good enough for myself. I can't even impress myself. I'm in so deep that no-one can save me. Not even the ones who love me.

I want to runaway and never look back but, that won't get me anywhere.

Screaming in my head is those cries I want to yell because no-one truly knows my pain. I am broken… I have been for so long.

There is always someone one step a head of me and as much as I try I am always behind, even behind the ones who don't try or don't care.

It's like as I entered this, I was left alone and left to dry from this pouring rain. I'M NOT OKAY! I'm in so much pain, everyday I wake worse then other. Everyday it's like I lose myself even more.

I want to breathe again. I want someone to be hear while I'm trying to stop myself crying. I need a shoulder to lean on

It all hurts.

Sometimes... It Just Hurtsby ~XxPinkSparklesxX

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I wrote this five months ago, when I was having one of those days (I seem to quite a few of those).

The main things with this poem - I feel alone but, I most of all long to be free. Free from my problems and the doubts within my head.

Thankies for reading!

Pink Sparkles!

love 2 2

joy 2 2

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~~neutral 0 0~~

~RenosGirl77 Feb 22, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I'm stuck here right now!! In a slightly different way, but I still can't escape the four shrieking walls of my own head. But you my friend are proof that everything gets better in the end, so thanks very much for that. You've given me fresh hope.

~XxPinkSparklesxX Feb 22, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you!

Hope things get better

~RenosGirl77 Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

It's no problem at all - it's true!! And thank you, too.

*hugs back* I'm getting there little by little, it's just a case of taking it one day at a time and not giving up on pushing forward. Things have improved a little since yesterday, so that's something!!

Thank for your support.

~XxPinkSparklesxX Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Yay!

You're very welcome!

~RenosGirl77 Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

XD "Yay!" - for some reason it just made my day to read that - thank you!!! XD I really do appreciate the support, you are truly amazing my dear friend.

Thank you.

~XxPinkSparklesxX Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

You're very welcome!

~RenosGirl77 Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

~XxPinkSparklesxX Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

~MissGingerIce Oct 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I totally understand the feelings that you expressed in this poem. I, too, know what it feels like to have a few too many 'one of those days'.
Great work ^_^

Just know that, my shoulder is right here, dear.

~MissGingerIce Oct 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Didn't realize that I already commented

You can just ignore that comment then...
Sorry about that

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