READY OR NOT HERE LIFE COMES
Chapter 1- I don't want him to be scared
Disclaimers: I don't own DBZ, and probably never will sad face.
Note: This chappie is in Goku's point of view.
My life has changed so much. When looking back I didn't have a wife or son ten years ago, I was living with Kami. Not that, that is bad or anything, it just gets kind of lonely.
Life now definitely looking up; I keep getting stronger, my son's growing up and my wife is wonderful. She's so loving, she makes the most wonderful food and at night we do fun things in bed…
But, something things have got me looking down. Chi-Chi doesn't like that I try and change what I don't like. That is Gohan.
His is studying everyday for hours. And I try and get him away every once in awhile to get him to take a break. I can't help it, if I had my eyes staring at books all day I would go insane or get incredibly sleepy and fall asleep. I'm surprised Gohan doesn't fall asleep studying.
Another is I honestly don't want this life for Gohan. Not that his life is horrible at it is – okay is it that bad. I see what it does to Gohan every time Chi-Chi says, "You're going to be a great scholar one day." It hurts Gohan, he doesn't want to be one, I think. But he hasn't been given the opportunity for himself to decide.
The main thing that ticks me off is, Gohan fears a lot but, Chi-Chi does nothing. She doesn't encourage him to conquer those fears or to face them head on; no, she normally does the opposite of what needs to be said. She normally says that the wilderness is no place for a child and ignores the rest of what Gohan has to say. Doesn't his opinion matter to her? It does to me… it means everything, Gohan is my everything…
Gohan living in the middle of the mountains doesn't help him, it's not like we live in the city. He can't protect himself and living around here, he at least needs to know the basic self-defense but, Chi-Chi won't let me teach him. And even Chi-Chi can protect herself.
I know Chi-Chi said, "One of us will be around Gohan always, to protect him." But isn't there always someone stronger then you are, so why shouldn't he learn?
I know I am a parent and I always want to be their but, I can't be. Namek was proof enough, but what if I can't protect him or Chi-Chi can't and we are both their. What are we supposed to do?
What if the only thing that could be done to save Gohan, was to save himself? Letting all the fear of his go and having the courage to fight?
He needs to fight; he's been losing to the fear way too long. Shouldn't Chi-Chi understand? Letting Gohan fight is the only way…
And it's been three years since that day. When I first witnessed my sons power first hand…
I wonder if it things would've turned out any differently if Garlic Junior hadn't shown up when he did. I'd probably still be thinking I was seeing things when Gohan was a year old, when he destroyed part of that tree instead of crashing straight in it.
I was so surprised that day when Gohan stood up to Garlic Junior; I was so proud, I still am. He only stood up because I was hurt, and I couldn't do anything. My son, he thinks of others before himself. Shouldn't Chi-Chi let him think of himself for a change?
Looking back on that day, it seems it wasn't too long ago, only a few yesterdays away, I saw my son as a different person. Someone let out of a shell, I was happy yet disappointed he didn't remembered. I wanted Gohan to think with pride that he bet the bad guys but, no memory was resurfaced. I also at the same time didn't want Gohan out of that shell; because he was acting the very way he should in some cases: saiyan like. It's not like Gohan would know. Chi-Chi hasn't let me say anything.
I wish sometimes that Gohan wasn't so protected because I know in my heart he can handle things himself, it's his mother of his. He can handle he is half-saiyan, he can handle his powers, he can handle becoming what he wants to become but, at the moment it's impossible because Chi-Chi is way too over protective. She's right in his way and until she gets out of his path, then his dreams will not come true. I want my son to have his dreams so badly; it is literally killing me from the inside.
I may come across at times as over protective but, I don't want to coddle him and confine him to my dreams of what he should become. I just want my son to be happy!
I don't want this nonsense where Gohan stands there faking his own happiness, I know how he feels but… I think of it as a gift but, a curse.
I've tried to talk to Chi-Chi about this but, maybe I should be talking to Gohan instead. And if I say the truth about everything to my son, his life will be changed forever, never to go back to the way things were.
Gohan would like his life to change but, Chi-Chi doesn't. She likes the way things are now – with the exception of me running out of the house to go train or dying because of powerful enemies or landing on planets just because 'I don't want to come him to my family'.
When I talk to Gohan about this, she is going to lose it. Even though I know my son has hidden powers, to what extent do they run? How powerful will he become if he were to learn to control his power? Some day… I dream for him to become stronger then me, his old man. That's what I dream and most of all, for him to be happy.
There is still so much I don't know about Gohan's powers of course Chi-Chi hasn't allowed me to teach him. She literally has made it so impossible that I fear telling the truth but, I must!
This has been going on for way too long.
I understand fear but, why run from it when there is always going to be someone there when you fall? He can't run forever, as much as it pains me… it hurts too much. The fear keeps going within his mind, and is holding him back. I don't want him to be scared, it makes me feel that way too, I want to him to be able to conquer anything his dreams.
I can't say I'm going to react well after I've spoken to you Chi-Chi. I have the feeling Gohan you're not going to like it either…sorry son but, your life is about to change and I think you have the right to know what I haven't told you because of your mother.
I really hope you look at me the same after this son…