|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Sometimes... It Just HurtsI'm stuck in rut in my life. I can't hear the sounds around me, the happiness seizes. I wish I could do everything right but, I always fall as I catch my breath.
It all hurts; I'm never good enough for myself. I can't even impress myself. I'm in so deep that no-one can save me. Not even the ones who love me.
I want to runaway and never look back but, that won't get me anywhere.
Screaming in my head is those cries I want to yell because no-one truly knows my pain. I am broken I have been for so long.
There is always someone one step a head of me and as much as I try I am always behind, even behind the ones who don't try or don't care.
It's like as I entered this, I was left alone and left to dry from this pouring rain. I'M NOT OKAY! I'm in so much pain, everyday I wake worse then other. Everyday it's like I lose myself even more.
I want to breathe again. I want someone to be hear while I'm trying to stop myself crying. I need a shoulder to lean on
It all hurts.
You Want Me To Go AwayMy heart is racing
Too many things I'm facing
And you can't listen
Because your not there
You won't try
To even understand
How am I supposed be your friend?
When you can't let me in
And you turn it all around
When you leave me out
I'm not the lies scattered in the sky
I'm not lying, it hurts to cry
About the things you let me go through
The pain you cause at times and not knowing why
The ache inside my chest grows and shrinks
Is it because I love you
Or just cos I hurt
I need you
I don't know if you want me too
With the way you turn away
When I see your face
Smiling my way
I grin back and have a good laugh
But, the laughter never seems to fade
Yet why does it seem you want me to go away
I sit here in regret
Did you want to forget how we met?
We talked some but, then went our ways
You say it wasn't much to you
But, it meant so much to me
Can't you see what is happening now?
Do you see the blurriness in my eyes as they cry tears?
Will you want to even go away?
I'm not the lies scattered
I Miss YouEverything I used to be
I gave up
And let myself down
I waited for miracles to come around
Eventually they came
But you never got to see
Who I really am
Now everything's changed
You're in my heart
I may have regrets about my past
But not you
Everything I was
My perspective on life
I'll keep going even it's hard
No matter what life throws at me
I'll throw it back
Cos you were always like that
Now everything's changed
You're in my heart
I may have regrets about my past
But not you
You may be gone from my sight
But I'll never forget your insight
You always being by my side
Even though it was hard to keep going
You kept telling me to keep going
The funny things I never understood
I do get now
With everything you taught me I'll succeed
You're in my heart
I may have regrets about my past
But not you
You were always their to care
Always making sure i was alright
I'll make sure I will keep fighting
To keep going like you taught
Running Towards DreamsThe memories bring back a smile
I remember them just as things use to be
They were so different
Running into the wind, I have to follow my dreams
I have doubt in my mind
But I will keep going
Even if it gets really hard
Even if something is in way
I will use all my will to move it
I can't be tied up or constraint forever
Waving goodbye to ones I've known for so long
Brings tears to my eyes
I can't lie
I care and love you but, we must leave
We must follow our dreams
I hold on too tightly
I have a passion I have to ignite
And I will believe in myself
Because you put your faith in me
From those dreams in my head
I won't let me go down
I have to bring them up to me
That is the way, this is supposed to be
I won't give up anymore
I will fight
Not just with words but, with my might
This is my life
I will get there and I don't care who tries to stop me
Because at the end of the day, I will put smile on my face
Even if my day is raining down
I know, I just want the heart of mine to glow
Maybe all who we knew and lost are up there now
In the sky, when it is dark at night
Shining stars that crash to the ground
You gaze at them
They give you comfort
The feeling is warm and bright
The feeling you get when you know everything is going to be alright
You don't know why
Every person we met is up there
Looking at that same star
You're wondering where they are
You're just seeing there hearts from afar
The dark sky helps you think clearer
Makes everything better
You can never explain
How you forget your pain
It's like rain
You forgot your problems and sorrows
In each star there is a memory
Some you can't see
Because they're too far away
Some couldn't stay
And some you can't remember
Because it was too many Decembers away
Nothing lasts forever even a star
Maybe they last years
But, we'll never know
It's like losing someone you love
So close to you
And you don't know how you will make it through this life without their light
Now you can longer hold on to them tight
You may b
I Will Never Forget TodayI hold your hand
On this warm day
I can't explain why I have changed
But, the rainy days have gone away
Because I met you
And you taught me how to love again
How to spread out these wings
That seemed battered and broken
And now I have awoken
You opened me up
To the light
It's so bright
I want to cover my eyes
Am I dreaming? Or is this real?
I can't hide how I feel
You've left footprints on this heart
There were no marks at the start
But, the memories you made with me
We won't be walking on the same roads anymore
But, I won't forget when I cried to you
Or when I smiled gratefully
I'm thankful for what you taught me about you, life and myself
We may be going away, our separate ways
But, I will never forget today
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But from what you taught me they won't get to me
I'm will now scream out and fight, I won't hold back
Because you gave me the courage
You were the one who told me to keep going
Even though I was upset, angry and sad
You're My AngelYou're My Angel
Ripped out right from me
Was this meant to be?
Those days thinking you were the enemy
Fighting this fate
Am I dead? Or am I very much alive
It's hard to tell half the time
Learning from you
Why were people afraid?
You had a heart like no other
Lovingly things started to change with you
We formed a friendship
I didn't care if anyone else was uncertain
I knew your were special
You lit up this dark world
That was so bleak
And now I speak from this empty heart
That is gone from within me
I love you
I know you were the one
As you disappear
I don't know if I'll ever appear
In front of you
And see your bright yellow eyes
That reflect the sun
The bright future
While you may not be in my sight right now
I hope one day
One day that I can reach out, pat you on the shoulder
And you will turn and look at me
Like the angel you are
Best FriendsBest Friends
You mean the world to me
Different parts of you I want to be
When my day is crashing down
You're always there to there to pull me off the ground
The laughs we share mean everything
You give me the belief I can do anything
That nothing is impossible
You make me feel incredible
As we stand here
Even though we have our day we shed those tears
Those moments we may feel weak
I can always come to you and speak
You make me feel safe like no-one else can
Somehow you make me strong enough to stand
All on my own, hand in hand
I know I can trust you, confide in you always
I now say things may change
Forever in my heart they will stay
No-one can take these times away
I'll hold you in my heart and never let you go
I wanted to let you know
I love you so
Thank you much for being there
I Will Get Up After Being Knocked DownMy lips screaming out in cries
As you ask me the most hurtful thing anyone could ask
I feel so alone but, this makes me feel even more-so alone
Tears coming out my eyes
Wishing that this was some nightmare
I'm ten years old!
You don't care
You're just giggling
Why does everyone tease me?
Make fun of me?
Did I choose to be the way I am?
I just want someone to accept me
Not to just make fun of me
Giving up and crying is all I do
I can't fight when it hurts
When I know I don't have the ability to do anything
It's school photo day
It's all supposed to okay
I'm supposed to be smiling
I'm supposed to be happy
I'm not meant to be sad
I'm not meant to be crying
You both are
I know who you are
I can't forget your face
As you laugh like it's a joke
But, I don't see the sense of humour in it
All I see is pain!
A heart so broken from words
From everyone leaving me to find myself
When I can't find myself by myself
Standing in this line
Contract 'Peace. I just want peace.' With the last sentence written, she placed the note on her empty pillow. She pulled on her black converse and turned towards the open window. 'They won't notice I'm gone until it's too late.' she thought a little mournfully before slipping into the cool summer night. The dark house loomed in front of her, each window black and empty. 'I wonder how long they'll assume I'm sleeping in?' Memories from that very morning came rushing to the front of her mind. She could almost hear her mother's angry voice yelling from outside her door. "Is she still asleep?" Her silver blue eyes began to blur with unshed tears. With a shake of her head she banished the thoughts to the back of her mind. 'No time for tears now.' And with that she started down the wooded trail that led to her end.
She had already decided to put as much distance between herself and that house as her feet would allow before she committe
The Sentinel: A Poem The Sentinel: A Poem
All the night shall be your keep.
All those sleepers in their sleep
Will look to you and heed your call.
A moment where silence rules and dreams come true.
And then you shall see the nighttime's worth.
Transcend the dying and the birth.
See for yourself the beauty there.
The perfect frailness that is life.
Observe those lovely maidens of virtue!
Oh, behold the lads of brave stature that are true!
See the empires fall with broken spires.
And Father Time reclaim his own.
So watch the humans as they slumber.
And for once they might seem humble.
Listen to the silent plea of hope as the night wanes on
And see the love that enters here among the human race.
A Letter to No OneThe clock ticked against silence,
Upon the cemetery of a room.
Deep sighs weave through the air,
Meager warmth in compressed despair.
Moths fall prey to a musty lampshade,
An opened window to Night’s gloom.
Thoughts dance like ripples on water,
And clouds on the hiding moon.
A lullaby plays from the gentle sound,
Made by scratching pen on paper.
One story told too many times,
Is voiced from words created.
Though this time revived from lies,
A phoenix forms the ugly truth.
The pen rolls from the wooden desk,
Having served its final use.
Old dusty dolls and teddy bears,
Watched helplessly through glassy eyes.
No star showed to twinkle hope,
Not one ray from the busy moon.
On the clock’s tick, a rope was hanging.
On the clock’s tock, a form was thrashing.
A tired, hoarse throat gasps for life,
Cut abruptly by the Reaper’s scythe.
Poems on the shelf with an unknown author.
Paintings on the wall left unsigned.
Just another heart trapped in horror,
An unfinished l
Mind.Darkness surrounds me,
Shadows surround you.
The present threatens me,
as the past did to you.
Your memories, you keep at bay,
but your thoughts just seem to fade away.
Your murdurous thirst is always there
and you seem to be grabbing at your hair.
My thoughts aren't right
my head's too tight,
I have to fight
just not take flight.
I want it to end
I want it to end
Please will somebody help me then?
It's not to late
Never to late
say it'll be alright
but we know it's not alright.
Because of your past,
you will certainly fade last.
You will not find a friend in this world.
We are not one
but one and the same.
Our minds have turned against us.
So What Do I Do?If only I could read your mind
If only I could interpret you emotions
Understand what you're going through
See through your eyes
Hear through your ears
Feel through your heart
If only I knew how to help you
But I can't
And I don't
And it's killing me
So what do I do?
Love Never Has An EndBoy, You Get Outta Bed,
Knock Yourself Upside The Head,
You Lost All You Hold Dear,
And You Can't Tell Her,
'Cause She's Not Here.
Go, Run Out To Your Car,
Complete The Search For Your Star,
She Said She's Leaving Tonight,
Show Her That She's Everything,
Including Your Light.
Sharply Cutting The Turns,
Bumping Over The Curbs,
You're Ignoring The Cops,
You Gotta Get There,
Before Your Heart Pops.
And Now The Airport's In Sight,
Standing Out In The Night,
She Carries Tears In Her Eyes,
Suitcase By Her Side.
By The Time You Get There,
She's Sitting Down In Her Chair,
You Can't Help But Feel Alone,
But Lucky For You,
She's Searching Through Her Phone.
Yours Then Begins To Ring,
And Your Heart Starts To Sing,
You Cry And Apologize,
For All That You Said,
All Those Dirty Lies.
You Prove You Want Her Back,
Can't Handle A Heart Attack,
She Starts To Understand,
So She Grabs Her Suitcase,
And Tries To Depart To Land.
But It's Already Too Late,
The Plane Takes Off With A Shake,
They Sadly Whispe
Loved, Avenged, and ReunitedI'm not the same when I'm here
You have changed my thoughts
You have change my voice
I cannot go back
My want rebels against my need
My desire outweighs my reason
There is no reason behind this
Nothing makes sense about it
But I will not leave it
I find that I want to stay here with you
May it be against my will or with it I cannot tell
Do you deliberately torture me?
Or are you as conflicted as I?
This desire is great, but I cannot name it
I cannot put a reason to it
I cannot get away from it
It will always be here
When I am with you I am no longer lost
You changed me into someone I am proud of
If this was love then how was it taken so easily?
Your life was snuffed out so quickly by those who deserve to drag themselves across the filth and grime of all things awful.
You may say I judge, but the agony they put you through can never be justified
I want to see you again so badly
I want to laugh with you again so desperately
I want to hear your voice with all my being
And I will
Too Break A Hearti like too see how i will go on .
yes im sad but i must continue.
i can not give up and show him im weak.
he may have taken my heart and teared it to peaces .
but i will not show him he won the battle.
i try to hide my feelings.
i tryed to move on.
its just ot working yet
but i must live on
im trying stay away but your behind every corner .
you say we can be friends .
but when my birthday came you gave me the sholder.
i try to be nice .
but what you did to me was crule.
a heart break over text message .
what kinda monster are you.
you told me you loved me .
that you cared for me too.
but it was all a lie .
but thats just you
i am moving on now .
ive walked away.
ive replaced you now.
he's nicer and better.
he treats me better than you did .
and this may be just a poem of my feelings .
but it makes me feel much better
Autumnal InsomniaIt's an Autumn night. The cold comes cutting
Across the seas and the Isle is in winter's for-pang.
I am still at my desk in sweats and fevers, pacing
Over long due essays and the morning's march.
The space on the wall is screaming at me
From where the picture hanged upon the arch
Above the study door. My phone has not rang
In days. In no way could you call me free.
Is it late or early or both? I cannot see
Past the window's blank abyss and I delve
Into another long since read book and look to find
The clock is already far past twelve.
The creaking grows with roaring zephyrs
Of night-breath, the gate creaks in torment
And the dark and twisted line of the tree
Seems horrifying to me.
I close the curtain and shut the door
And pick my book up from off of the floor.
I look and see the clock is now past three
And it matter not in the least to me
And I pray to the Man of Galilee.
Lead-lined eyes and a slurring soul
And the hours awake take their toll
And I fall asleep.
Always DefeatedI just run; faster than the wind. I can't stay. I won't.
All of this hurts
To remain standing, when all I am, is torn down.
Can you hear my screams?
Or just the silence
As I take a step into the unknown, will you hold my hand? Will you ever believe in me?
I keep trying but, all those words spoken, make me want to cry; to give up and to let go of all I know.
And you know the pain never stops. It's like a never ending empty void, which is sucking me in and I wonder when this will be done.
Will I be the one who won?
Or will I be the loser everyone knows me to be?
Keep in Touch!
Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More